Feeling down? It's ok to admit it. Here's how you got there- and how to get back out.

These are the words I'm hearing from people to describe how they are doing these days:

• "I feel like I'm in a funk."
• "I've been down in the dumps."
• "I feel completely miserable."

Chances are you can relate. I know I certainly can. This has been a season unlike anything we've ever experienced in our lifetime (unless you are old enough to have remembered living through the Great Depression and World War 2). Our world has been completely turned upside down by COVID-19, and- if we're being honest- even with things starting to re-open and aspects of our life starting to trickle back, a return to what was "normal" before isn't happening for a long time.

e And many of us are concerned it may never return.

Couple all that with the social upheaval following the murder of George Floyd, the daily, um, stuff inherent to an election year, and top it all off with the pressures of daily life even under the best conditions, and it's no wonder Americans are the unhappiest they have been in half a century.

So if you're feeling down, it's understandable.

Yet what we seem to have a hard time is coming right out and saying it.

"You care more about making money than saving lives!"

I've seen this criticism launched countless times on social media at people who have wanted things to re-open, return to normal, etc. While I'm not interested in debating policy, what I do think is the current conventional wisdom- namely that social distancing, wearing a mask, avoiding crowds, and so on protects people and saves lives- makes it politically incorrect to come right out and say what- if we're all being intellectually honest- we are all thinking:

This season sucks. And we hate- I mean, HATE- the way we have to live. 

That's precisely one of the reasons we feel down in the dumps, is it not?

We hate the fact we can't shake hands, hug, or high-five a friend when we see them.

We despise the fact that we can't gather with a crowd or go to a game in a packed-out arena or stadium.

We hate wearing a mask when we just go to the store.

Personally, I think it's time we admit those facts. It's time we all admitted it.

That's not to debate whether those things are effective. I'm not interested in that debate at this time. It's just an acknowledgement of the fact that none of us enjoy what we are having to do...even if it saves lives.

"But shouldn't 'saving lives' make me happy?"

That's one of the tensions, isn't it? After all, if we are protecting people...shouldn't we be happy about that?

It's really not as cut and dried as that.

YES- we should want to protect others. Scripture tells us not to look to our own interests, but to the interests of others (Philippians 2:4). And I think we should have joy doing that.

But just glibly saying "You should be happy because you're saving lives by social distancing/ wearing a mask/ avoiding crowds," misses a very significant fact that I heard a good friend express to me recently:

"They told you what you were doing was saving lives. What they didn't tell you was that it would feel like you were losing yours."

Make no mistake: the steps we as a society are taking do, in fact, make it feel like we are losing our lives. We may not be dying physically...but we're losing a tremendous part of what it even means to be a human being:

• We were made to hug, to shake hands, to high five. We were made to touch.
• We were made to gather together up close and in person. We were made to be with others.
• We were made smile, to frown, to make silly expressions- all of which is missed behind a mask.

Even if the steps we're taking are effective, they are also- often- unbearably painful because the cut out a huge part of our humanity. Significant parts of us feel like thye are dead or dying. We were not made to live like this.

So it's no wonder we don't enjoy it. It cuts against our very nature as humans. And until we admit that, we'll either remain in the funk we're in or we'll stuff those "down in the dumps" feelings until eventually they come raging to the surface and send us into an emotional tailspin.

But that's not the only reason you're down...

What I've found interesting is that when I'm feeling down, I also am drawn away from things that breathe life into me:

• I keep working, working, working, and never take a break (probably because I'm scared I'll break down if I do stop) because I'm emotionally exhausted.
• My time in God's Word starts to become dry at best and non-existent at worst. I'm not as mentally engaged with it as I was before, I don't feel like I'm getting anything out of it, so it's easy to just quit.
• I'm sick of social distancing, but I'm also fearful of groups, but I also am Zoomed-out, so I don't make the same effort I did at the beginning to connect with others.

We could go on, but the general point is this: When we start getting down in the dumps, what we often end up in is a negative reinforcing loop that keeps sending us down, down, down. And if we don't take specific actions to stop the tailspin, the tailspin won't stop.

I've been there during this season. Multiple times. I have hit the lowest point I've ever had emotionally during this season. I've felt overwhelmed and had the feeling that things would never get better.

But I've also been able to see how making a few significant decisions have completely changed the game for me.

That doesn't mean I like this season any more than I did. I still don't.

But it does mean that I've found a way to get through each day with joy in my heart, a smile on my face, and genuine hope for what the future holds.

With that in mind, here are two things that helped me and are helping me pull out of the funk. I hope they do the same for you.

#1- STOP.

Is there a time during your week that you stop everything? I mean more than taking time to read God's Word (though we'll get to that later). I mean, is there a time on your calendar every week that you intentionally pause EVERYTHING?

The phone goes away. The TV is off. You're not working. You're not trying to take care of the kids and do stuff around the house. You are completely on pause.

You need that. I found I need it. So every single week, I have an "appointment with myself", and the only items on that agenda for an hour are reading a book, reflecting on what I'm feeling, and talking to God about it.

That's been a game changer for me.

If we don't slow down enough to discover what we are feeling, process it, and filter it through what is actually true, we'll become an overflowing emotional trash can. Eventually, the junk will spill out and cause a big mess.

"But I don't have time!"

You're right. You don't. And you never will.

That's why you have to make time. For me, that means waking up an hour earlier than I "have to" on Mondays (because that's the time of the week I feel the lowest). Sure, the sleep would be nice. But the payoff of an hour of being still and reflecting on what I'm going through is worth infinitely more than the one hour of sleep I'm giving up.

Find a time to stop. Put it on your calendar. And stick to it.

And when it comes to the rest of the week...

#2- Change what's going into your head.

Let me ask you this: how is staying up-to-the-moment informed on the latest developments with the virus, what's open/ what's not, how many deaths/ hospitalizations there are, what President Trump said/ didn't say, and so on impacting your life?

Is it making your life better? Is it filling you with joy? Does it make you excited about the future? Or...

• Does it leave you angry and bitter?
• Does it leave you sad and in despair?
• Does it leave you confused and anxious?

I'm going to go out on a limb and say the answer is "Yes" to all of the above. Because that's exactly where I was.

Yet I justified my consumption of it by saying "I have to stay informed! I lead a church and I need to know everything going on!"

I don't think I should put my head in sand. But what God convicted me of was that in my quest to stay informed I was being more conformed to the world than transformed by Jesus (see Romans 12:2).

Speaking of which...I'll admit that at my lowest points, the time I've spent perusing the news, what people are saying on social media, and reading articles on what the latest medical opinions are dwarfed my time in God's Word.

Functionally, I was drinking a gallon of stuff that was poisoning my mood and my thoughts and only about a cup of what actually gives me life.

It's impossible to have our mind shaped by God's truth when we either give His Word little time at best or no time at worst, and yet consume information from other sources by the gigabyte.

If you want to change what's going on in your head you have to change what's going in your head. 

• Start a committed- and significant- routine in God's Word.
• Limit- or completely cut out- your time consuming news, opinions, and world happenings.
• Choose to think about what God says about Himself and you instead of how bad things are right now.

I'm not saying we don't need to be aware of what's going on. We should be.

But what we're often doing is more than making ourselves aware. What we're really doing by consuming so much information is hunting for hope in the wrong place.

• The latest safety precautions will not give you hope.
• The latest briefing from the Governor's office or the White House will not make you happy.
• The latest opinion articles that all argue different things will not make this season change overnight.

There is no magic elixir to make this season vanish in a puff.

On the other hand...

• God's Word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path (Psalm 119:105).
• Our salvation brings us joy (Psalm 51:12).
• Compared to the eternity that awaits us in Christ, these troubles are light and momentary (2 Corinthians 4:17).
• Because of the promises of God, we do not lose heart (2 Corinthians 4:16).
• Because of Christ, we can be content even when life isn't what we want (Philippians 4:12-13).
• If we do not grow weary in doing well, we will reap a harvest if we don't give up (Galatians 6:9)

Those promises encourage us. They fuel us with hope. They fill our heart with joy, even when life is not joyful. And they enable us to endure day-by-day, and sometimes moment-by-moment.

You don't have to stay in a funk. You don't have to stay down. You can climb out- I know because I'm in the process of doing that right now.

But- if we are going to change, we can't wait until our world changes. We have to change what we are doing. And when we make the right changes, then we change into more hopeful and joyful people- regardless of whether the world changes around us.